DON'T DIE TOO HARD
- Good one! - Thanks.
- One niI. - No, two niI.
- Two nil? - Two nil.
My turn.
The pushchair!
Ha, ha. We can't have the same sense of humour.
You've got a stain.
Bird brain!
My goodness!
- That reaIly made me laugh! - lt would. It was very funny.
Extremely funny. I've never seen anything so funny!
We're wasting time.
Redo it. I've a Pure Power class tonight.
I'm not wasting time here. Back to work!
To work yourseIf!
I make the decisions.
AlI right, but l decide next.
Do as you like.
Sorry, Mr l-make-alI-the-decisions. Here come the decisions.
Here they come yourseIf!
Hang on!
What's wrong?
- l just cleaned that. - So?
It's re-dirty. It's re-soapy.
WelI redo it, then!
There we are...
- What now? - l've cIeaned it twice.
- So? - l did it once, it got dirtied up,
I re-did it, it got re-dirty...
That's strange.
It's fresh. Very fresh.
It can't be.
Someone's dirtying my window.
- Behind what? - Be quiet!
Behind you. On three...
One...
two...
three!
He's gone. He got away.
He heard you and vanished through a secret trap door.
Shit!
- Where is he? - There. Underneath.
That's amazing.
He's good.
RealIy good.
Very, but you're not thinking! You're taIking baloney!
It's just you and me on this cradIe. Must I say this every night?
Look. Watch this.
Who's doing that?
I am. It was me just now.
Do you see? It was me dirtying it up.
It was you dirtying it up just now!
Fine! Now l know who it was
I can cIean it in confidence
without being disturbed.
- They're stiIl there... - They're always there.
The IittIe one's in Iove with me. He's been after me for 2 months.
He gave me some cheese cubes.
How?
He stuck them to the window.
It's the thought that counts.
He has the amazing gift of being able to lip-read.
Or so he thinks.
HeIlo.
You're sweet but a tiny bit dumb.
What did she say?
You're sweet but a tiny Breton.
She Ioves me. She caIled me sweet.
She also caIled you a tiny Breton!
Better a tiny Breton than a big bird in the bush.
You asked for it!
Here are the reports for your cousins.
Thanks, SyIvie. You can go now.
ShouIdn't I stay for the board meeting?
You go and enjoy your weekend.
You're spared the clan gathering.
AlI right...
I hope you get on better with Mr Lanceval this year.
My uncle's a bit edgy sometimes...
But slapping you because of the coIour of a file...
It's nothing to addle an aardvark about!
What?
Have a nice weekend, SyIvie.
Hang some mice each end, Séverine.
OK, if you say so.
What do you see in her?
- She's not my type. - ReaIly?
I'm not surprised. Your type doesn't exist.
Have you seen your face? Your arms?
They look Iike skyIights!
Are you saying l'm skinny?
Yes!
In 6 months time,
I'lI have a body Iike his.
Peter MacCaIaway. Thanks to his high proteIine diet.
- ProIetine? - ProIeIine.
It may be hard to say
but my muscles are like boIsters.
I mean bouIders.
- BoIlards. - Boilers.
- That's bogus. - My muscIes are bogus.
Shut up a minute, wiIl you? Not bad.
How are you?
You okay, dimwit?
Dine out?
Dinner?
You and me?
That's right, you ape.
The eighth?
That's tonight! She asked me to dinner!
See you tonight.
So, you're perfect are you?
Never brained yourself bowing,
while cleaning the Montparnasse Tower windows?
Get up! Wake up! Here we go!
Watch carefulIy.
- What are you doing? - Over 14kg of water.
RealIy?
Be careful...
It's completeIy safe.
Jean-Louis?
How oId are you?
Just my Friday evening joke.
It's no fun guarding an empty tower.
Before everyone goes l like to...
The big shots arrive in 10 minutes.
Go easy on the jokes.
Mr Lanceval won't be amused.
The onIy reason you didn't Iaugh was
I wasn't wearing my costume.
I'lI kiIl 'em in this!
A bit of advice, if you vaIue your job.
Don't worry. l understand.
It's aIways the same with big wheeIs,
they wheely get you down!
HeIlo? Montparnasse Tower?
I don't get it. I did it with two buckets before!
I'm reaIly sorry.
- Did you say something? - No, Mr Lanceval.
A greeting is considered civil.
HeIlo!
Moron.
I'm sorry?
Nothing.
I said, have a good trip...
in the Iift.
ChiIdren...
Zey are kummink up, Miss Laancevaal.
I'm sorry. They're coming up.
Good evening, uncIe.
WelI, weIl, welI...
I hear my aunt's ilI and won't be coming.
It's not serious?
That's a good bIue. You've done it right for once.
Now I'lI be Iate for dinner with Marie-JoeIle.
In fifteen minutes it's my second Pure Power class.
It's butt scuIpt tonight.
A bit more important than dinner, wouIdn't you say?
Don't start that or we'lI be here alI night
and it gets reaIly boring, your kids game.
Don't start that because it soon... and then...
goes on for ages... and afterwards...
it's a kids game. So stop that now.
Got your mother's proxy form?
Here, father.
Let's go straight to this semester's resuIts.
The figures, Stéphanie.
I'm a jerk.
This poo is deIicious.
You're a bit like a president.
Reception? Open up.
Hoping the heroics are over,
pIease return to your seats, put out your cigarettes and shut up.
Why did it do that?
- Did you touch something? - No.
If you must fire inside, avoid the windows.
If you want to make a noise,
do it with this.
This,
is for this.
What's going on? Something's wrong.
I hope Marie-JoeIle's on time for dinner.
Is it aIl right? Is it over?
Can we go home, pIease?
Something's wrong...
What are you doing? Are you crazy?
CaIm down!
Are you nuts?
Am l not studying Pure Power?
That means I'm trained to intervene.
There!
What shaIl we do?
What we'lI do is...
Rule one, weigh up the situation.
See what's going on.
By St Augustin, God of the Bee Gees...
What?
Here!
What's going on?
Nothing. Just squabbling secretaries.
It's none of our business. Let's go.
You're hiding something.
Me? No I'm not.
We're alI going to die, that's aIl.
Marie-JoeIle is dead! Marie-JoeIle in danger!
Marie-JoeIle goes on hoIiday! The return of Marie-JoelIe!
It's 9pm. l'm tired. l've a cIass in 15 minutes. We saw nothing.
Just one thing,
whisper when we pass the fIoor with the hostages,
because I'd hate to get shot. I didn't come here for that!
They've got her by the hair! Go up, cradIe! Up! Up! Up!
I'lI start again.
I need the code. You give it to me.
We go and get the money.
Meanwhile, you go and sip a Piña Colada at the bar.
An hour Iater we release you
and there you are, back home again.
Or I kiIl your family, one by one.
Ladies first, of course.
The code?
Five...
four...
three...
two...
one!
I'm sure if there was something important
you'd have said.
Was it when you said it was 9pm?
Was that the important bit?
Nine's a pretty important time. It's time to go to bed.
Although l remember once I went to bed at ten past midnight!
Boy, was l tired afterwards!
No, l know!
It's when you said hostages.
Hostages?
My God!
Marie-JoeIle's been taken hostage! Why didn't you say?
Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God...
You're a very sensitive man.
But she was onIy your niece.
ShalI we move on to your children?
Sixty...
and five metres.
What's going on?
What are you doing?
We have to get out of here. This is grown up stuff.
RealIy? The 8th.
The day of my dinner with Marie-JoeIle. Remember?
I've got it open.
Come on! lt's OK, let's go!
Yes, it's OK.
Baby Jesus, God of Arabs and ltalians,
give me the strength to save Marie-JoeIle.
Hasta la Vista, Bye-bye.
Hans, what's going on?
Check each floor and the roof.
Let's prove l haven't wasted 3,200 francs on this programme.
May the force of Peter MacCaIaway be with me.
AlI right then...
Seems l've a vertical power probIem.
I must teIl Peter.
Five...
four...
three...
two...
one...
58228#.
That wasn't so difficuIt, was it?
No, l'm not dead.
We got this at Mercier's, rue du TempIe.
It's a system with a blood bag
and a protective metaI pIate underneath. Clever isn't it?
Don't feeI bad.
I'd have done the same for 50 miIlion.
I'd sacrifice my family...
uncle, cousins...
Here we go.
Sorry...
Shit! Mind the...
Oh my God! That's it!
You're stuck without my wife here.
Who needs your wife?
Her hand's enough.
Its absence is hoIding us up a little,
but it'Il be here any minute.
You're monsters!
That's not a nice thing to say.
Shut him up, pIease.
Is everything ready?
I'm aImost finished.
Any minute now we'lI be enjoying a delicious Piña Colada.
Man on the roof. I'lI see to it.
What is it?
Nothing serious, apparentIy.
One of my men is on to it.
You mean you're not in controI?
Of course I am.
Everything wilI be fine.
That's what l'm paying you for.
Oh my God!
That hurts!
There now...
Mind your head...
Watch it! Easy now...
We're the window cleaners!
Everything's fine!
Hans, have you dealt with the problem?
What the hell are you doing?
Do you copy?
Peter, go and get Hans.
I want you both as backup.
Seems your pIans are going awry.
What are you doing?
Answer me!
I'm warning you, if you touch a singIe hair on Marie-JoeIle's head
it'lI be a hard day's night for you alI!
Stop that!
He's kidding. He doesn't even know you.
Do what you want, we're gone.
Don't mind us.
Porte MailIot, mind the doors!
There's my train now.
Someone's fibbing!
I'm glad I'm not in your shoes.
You're gonna get your...
Don't you understand what's going on?
The gun? The guy with the beard?
That red waIkie-talkie?
Can't you see? Isn't it aIl a bit odd?
We've gotta caIl the cops and get the helI out of here!
This must be worth at Ieast a milIion.
It'd be a nice gift for Marie-JoeIle.
Tonight you're gonna...
Tonight you're gonna get... mash!
I'm OK.
Hans is out cold.
The detonator and RT are gone.
Find out who did it and kill them.
Looks like we're deaIing with professionaIs.
They tortured my baby. Her tummy's bleeding.
I don't understand.
I Iift 30kg on the bench press.
- Get pressing, then. - l have to be Iying down.
So lie down!
Up you go!
Press that bench up!
Don't hang about!
Lie down and press up.
Press down now, Iie up!
Lie down in your basket!
Go on, lie-Iie now!
Off to bye-bye's!
I can't do it!
Explain something to me.
The Tower was supposed to be empty.
My men have been attacked, the detonator's gone.
You're not doubIe-crossing us, are you?
Whatsyourname,
you're the best. Who would l double-cross you with?
That makes sense.
That's funny. Look.
I never noticed a cIock here before.
Funny, isn't it?
It's wrong. It isn't tweIve thirty.
Twenty-nine,
twenty-eight,
twenty-seven.
Quick minutes, aren't they.
More like seconds.
It's a bomb!
Baby Jesus...
If you Iive, telI Marie-Jo this was the best day of my Iife
until the untimeIy arrival
of a bomb.
I want to say something too.
If I'm so desperate to look Iike Peter MacCalaway,
maybe it's because, secretIy,
and everyone has a bit of this in them, I'm in love with him.
I don't know...
Marie-JoeIle, if you can hear me, I'm going to die and
I Iove you.
PIease don't let the bomb go off!
You're gay?
It's stopped!
You're gay!
No, aIl l meant was,
we share a passion for good bodies and physical exercise.
- You're gay! - Stop it!
What I meant was...
Leave me alone!
I hope you've got a good excuse.
I onIy saw one.
A talI skinny guy with a goatee beard.
The other hit me from behind.
It's just the window cleaners. They're no danger.
Mrs LancevaI has just arrived.
I believe part of your wife is coming up.
I always Iiked her hands best.
Make him shut up.
Put some of that sticky tape over his mouth.
Coming right up.
It's done.
This hostage-taking's becoming a drag.
Everything's fine, calm down.
Marie-JoeIle, if you hear me,
the bomb's off so dinner's on.
Can you bring someone weIl-built for my skinny friend?
They've blown up the bar.
- Watch where you're going! - Look up!
They're no danger.
They can knock out our men and expIosives and calI the cops.
We've just got to speed things up.
So, there's increasingIy less danger.
Chan!
Do you copy?
I'm on the 49th floor. The Iift's stuck.
Look out. We've some harmless window cleaners in the Tower.
They've taken our detonators and bIown out the 50th fIoor.
Now the cops are on their way.
I'lI be right there.
- What was it? - lt came from up there!
You shouId always be carefuI with bombs.
As they say back home, ''Para bailar la bomba''.
Remember?
Don't panic.
It's a four-shoe pizza!
HeIp's coming! Keep calm!
- Why's there no one here? - This is serious!
There's a fire up there!
I realIy screwed him up!
I'm not gay! Leave off.
It's hard to teIl sometimes.
Wait! l want a souvenir too.
It's ravishing.
Chan shouId be here by now. We've a problem. A real probIem.
We'lI have to... what shaIl we do?
I don't beIieve this guy!
How do we work without the hand?
We don't. We get it back and open the safe.
And how do we do that?
Chris and Whatsyourname, check the 2 floors beIow.
I'lI do the upper fIoors with Cher, here.
Wait!
I thought... the upper floor...
as l'm bigger... ShalI we go down, Chris?
- Where's the hand? - l don't know.
- Where's the goddamn hand! - l don't know.
- You don't know? - No.
They shot Chan.
The poIice are here.
Move on to Plan B.
It's so weIl made it Iooks almost reaI.
Funky lucky charms the Chinese have.
Let's go save Marie-JoelIe.
Come with me.
No way! l've been thinking and I've a...
This charm wilI save us from the bulIets.
Listen! I've a realIy precise pIan. We caIl the police.
That's it! We calI the cops.
What?
- What are you looking at? - Nothing...
- What? - They're so short...
It's the summer. It's normaI.
What's wrong with them?
They cost 45 francs.
Sorry if I don't earn much...
1, there are hostages. 2, explosions.
3, a Chinaman right here in the Tower.
And you'd caIl the cops!
- Yes. - Use your head!
- You use yours! - No, you!
I've an even preciser pIan.
1, you give me the gun.
No. You've got the hand.
Have you seen it?
Look at alI these fingers. 1, 2, 3, 4...
5, 6, 7, 8. It's got Ioads of fingers.
Code 7. Send reinforcements.
We're here in the Tower.
There's a Chinaman, a Frenchman
a bIack guy and a Belgian in the Montparnasse Tower...
The Chinaman falIs off and goes,
...Ker-Chink! Very funny. Clear the channel.
Stop laughing! Are you nuts?
HeIlo, I'm calIing from the Tower!
State your name.
I'm Head of security for the Tower.
I'lI get you the chief.
Thank you.
Are you the Head of Security?
Are you safe?
Yes, I'm the Head of Security and I'm safe.
- Say who's with you. - Are you aIone?
No, l'm with a friend.
An engineer. No, philosopher.
A philosopher friend.
CaIled Michel.
Michel. We're in the...
- Who Iikes chess. - He Iikes chess...
FootbalI too.
And indoor football...
Go over to 42. We've two kids on the channel.
Try here.
What?
The batteries seem to have run out.
It was you. I saw you.
You pressed too hard.
Much too hard.
So it's my fauIt, is it?
You're going to kiIl us aIl!
You'Il die, l'Il die and your fiancée wiIl die too.
See this gun?
You'd do something dumb if you had it.
You won't Iend me the gun, then?
I don't care.
I'lI think up something on my own.
Sorry.
By the way, for your infiltration,
when hostages are attacked by someone you don't caIl the cops,
you caIl the FBI.
Come back!
Don't Ieave me here on my own!
CaIling the window cleaners.
I'm the girl you gave the cheese cubes.
I got away. Where are you?
It's his girIfriend!
Hang on.
Just a minute, please.
Just a moment.
Where are you?
Your girIfriend's on the phone.
Where are you?
In the Iocker rooms. 54th fIoor.
Stéphanie?
The SWAT guys are with us.
On to PIan C. You handIe the cops as arranged.
I found the two dimwits on the 54th fIoor.
I'lI have the hand in 2 minutes
and go down to the safe.
Are you stiIl there?
Yes, but my friend's not happy.
He's making a weapon speciaIly for you.
I'm happy as the day Louis Armstrong walked on the moon!
- l'm delighted too, but... - My God!
You're bleeding! Dying! You're dead!
No, l'm quite aIive.
God be appraised!
That's a loveIy neckIace.
This?
It's not a necklace. It's a Chinese lucky charm.
RealIy? l'd like one of those.
You'Il have to go to China.
Makes it kind of expensive!
Unless...
I had a friend, who was baId,
who loved me so much he'd say,
''l think I'lI give her my Chinese lucky charm''.
A Chinese friend? CarefuI, they eat dogs.
They roIl them in Iettuce and dip them in sauce.
No.
Things are going a bit too fast between us.
I think we shouId wait a little.
This is messing with my head.
Let's taIk about China.
HeIlo? 14th precinct.
I represent the group responsible
for the Montparnasse Tower bomb.
WouId you put that out, please?
I'lI pass you the chief.
If you wouIdn't mind.
It Ieaves stains on your teeth, but it's up to you.
You've changed, JoeI. Being a cop's gone to your head.
Superintendent.
We have the Lanceval famiIy. In return for their Iives,
we demand the reIease of separatists Michel Dorsini,
Pierre Etchebarria and Gwenaël Dormenec.
CaIl the men back.
That'lI buy us a week.
Your Chinese friend says, ''On the pIate, Rex''.
Dog goes ''Woof'', man goes ''chop''.
He eats it, just like that!
That's a poodle a day. HeIlo Chinese hospitaIity.
- That's expensive! - Very.
You don't care. You're not paying.
Where are we eating tonight?
- l'Il teIl you tomorrow. - OK.
You got here alI right?
Marie-JoeIle, this is Francois,
and I'm Peter MacCalaway.
Lucky guy!
PIeased to meet you, except my name's Stéphanie.
That's good! He's not reaIly François.
He's Francis.
Ford Coppola.
How are you?
That's enough...
I'm dining with the Iady. Don't worry, he's gay.
What do you mean?
Show her the photo you just showed me, when you said...
I didn't say anything! Shut up!
He's talking baIoney.
I'm on a body building programme, at a cost of 3,200 francs.
In 6 months l'Il be abIe to Iift
an Austin Mini with my bare hands.
Bare hands!
Your hand's a bare-assed nudist! It's gay Iike you!
Yours is gay like me.
He admits it!
I got it wrong...
This is alI very interesting,
but may l remind you there are hostages here, meaning
our Iives are in danger. We should go downstairs.
How? The Iifts are stuck, Miss I-don't-like-gays.
By the stairs, Mr Praying-mantis-arms.
You're so lucky
I can't think of a reply!
Stop and break it down!
Do you want me to give her a gun so you both have one?
You want to kiIl each other?
I'm sorry, but we're not 4 year olds.
There's no way I'm going down there.
It's fulI of bombs and tedious escaped hostages!
I've a better idea.
I'm not wasting time with you. I'm off.
PIease don't take it like that. For me. For us.
When he said ''tedious hostages'', he didn't mean you.
Too right I did.
Come down the ventiIation shaft with me.
I saw it in a fiIm once. ''Try hard...''
''Die if you're hard, with a bomb''.
Take the stairs. lt's easy! One step after another.
Take the shaft. It's quick!
It's neck-breaking! Come with me.
The shaft's faster. No steps.
Ignore him! He's lying.
Listen to me, Peter.
Go after them.
We Iost a man. Your brother.
The window cleaners shot him.
Whatsyourname?
The two cretins, the bald guy and the skinny one,
are in the shafts. Watch the screens
and see which floor they come out on.
She's being attacked by a Chinaman because of you.
You're a bastard!
No you're not. You're a nudist!
I don't care. I'm going to save her.
Are you nuts? It's reaIly dangerous.
You're staying put.
Stay here. There.
That's it.
I can't get past.
- My head's stuck! - Try another corner.
Sorry...
That way.
You see? lt's impossible.
A Fosberry and you're stuck.
You see?
- Sorry... - lt's OK. lt's normal.
Are you OK?
Wait...
- There's Marie-JoeIle. - Where?
- There! - Two seconds.
- A Chinaman's attacking her. - Go Ieft.
- Easy now... - Sorry, I didn't see...
Move to the Ieft. OK now?
- lt's bIocked. - Go right.
- OK? - There's something blue...
- l've found a way. - Where?
- lt's OK. AImost there. - OK?
Go on, you're getting there.
- Can you see her? - No, carry on.
NearIy there. Just another metre.
Hurry up. They're behind us.
They're not there.
Look over here.
You nearIy got through.
Stop now. This is getting tiring.
ShalI I Iight a fire?
ShalI I?
AlI right. You win. I'lI Iight you a fire.
Go on. Go past.
Oh no!
Easy! I didn't mean to...
It's not serious.
Mummy! Why?
Whatsyourname?
Just a moment.
- See anything? - Nothing yet.
But l'm sure they're still in the Tower.
How perceptive, Whatsyourname.
You remind me of Shaggy in ''Scooby-Doo''.
She's got to stop caIling me Whatsyourname!
It's pissing me off!
Shit!
Easy! Tonight we walk away with 50 milIion.
I'lI show her who's boss!
He's realIy dented you!
I'lI sort the bitch out for you.
What did you say?
Hold out your fingers.
Man the monitors. CaIl if you see the bald guy and the skinny one.
Excuse me but,
what's aIl this skinny stuff?
See you in a minute.
You'Il never catch me!
HeIluva chase, huh?
Where's the hand?
I don't know what you mean.
I've the hand to open the safe with.
I don't want to see this!
SquirreI crew, get in position. Take-off at 0h50.
Hey you! I've had enough!
Stop calIing me...
- We've got the hand. - What?
Make Iove to me.
- Here? - You understand, then.
What I said first was, ''We've got the hand''.
Let's calm down and go on as planned.
OK by you?
Fine.
When you hit me you were Iighter.
Did you hear?
He wanted your hand to open a safe
with 50 milIion inside!
Fifty milIion!
I'lI Ieave you here.
I'm going to talk to them.
Don't Ieave me on my own!
I'lI be smothered to death!
- OK? - Thanks.
I did that to make you react!
It's the first lesson in Pure Power.
They calI it priapism.
That's it. Pre-apism.
- React after, apism. - Oh, sorry.
Use your head.
Fifty milIion.
If I don't get 3 or 4 thousand out of this...
That's burgIary!
No, it's not. I Iike women too, and you know it.
BurgIary!
I thought you said buggery.
I'm not just doing it for the money.
- l'm doing it... - l know why.
- Why? - To free Marie-JoeIle.
That's right!
Not to free WiIly! Let's go.
What's Chris doing? He's been gone a long time.
Go and find out.
Go on. Delegate. It's worked great so far.
Bad luck, Stéphanie,
I know when people are making fun of me.
You were just then.
Weren't you?
Maybe.
Boss!
They got Chris.
Need a IittIe something with naiIs
to open a certain safe fuIl of notes?
WelI, weIl, welI.
Isn't that the guy who calIed me scrawny?
So it is.
Made you cuss, made you swear...
You're free, Marie-JoeIle. We've a hostage too.
No one move
or the hand gets it in the head!
My friend's going to slide the hand under the door
and you slide Marie-JoelIe back!
Along with 5,000 francs.
- That's burglary! - A thousand!
OK?
And no funny stuff behind our backs.
So, good bye.
No!
We'lI give you one minute!
Are they faking or dumb?
They're reaIly dumb.
We've got a probIem with the door.
We'lI Ieave the hand here
and you put Marie-JoelIe there.
- No here! - There!
It's dirty here.
Thank you very much.
You're weIcome.
Over to you, Whatsyourname.
That wasn't my fault!
She said thanks and was re-kidnapped!
They're playing dirty. They want to surprise us.
So we'Il play dirty too.
I've never lost at snap.
A window cleaner, Iike my dad the butcher,
30kg on the bench press,
today and before yesterday,
God watch over me,
I'lI smash their faces in, one by one!
I don't quite understand.
Are you helping me save Marie-JoelIe
or smashing my face in one by one?
You scare me.
Your men are free.
They're here. What do we do now?
Fine.
Show them the EiffeI Tower. Our Iift's broken.
What do they want? This smeIls bad.
We're going in.
SquirreI crew, you can take off.
What's this buIlshit?
An iris recognition system.
You think it's funny?
Stop! We need his eye.
Get some ice.
Why did you bounce off the first time?
Think about it!
Use your head.
You were too Iight.
Now, with the armour...
This time be sure you get the Iength right.
On your marks...
Shit!
Watch out
I'm armed!
Be careful now!
You're not the onIy one with a gun.
You've got a gun
but l haven't.
PuIl the trigger and I die!
HighIy original.
You're right.
My brother wouId never let me...
avenge him unIess you suffered greatly.
What next? An electronic device for your baIls?
WelI mastered, some martial arts can cause unimaginable pain
to the body.
That's funny because Pure Power's great
but we don't focus on pain.
We're into
stretching, aerobics,
trampoline.
Oh, my God!
You're not fooIing...
I'm warning you,
I'm out of control.
You won't get me like that, Sankukai!
Coming up,
a fuIl face side-kick!
And now, a doubIe...
Stop!
Lucky you. Before dying in a dreadful explosion,
you're going up in a heIicopter.
After that, of course, you'lI die.
Do you know how much a chopper ride costs?
Ming, we've got the money. We're off.
I'm warning you, I'm not Iooking!
Watch out!
You're fast, but are you tough?
Everyone caIm down.
This is a Colt Python 357 Magnum.
It'lI bIow such a hole in your beIly
you'lI be spun right back to Peking.
I promised you I'd get them one by one
and that's what l'Il do.
You'Il pay for Chan's death.
Easy now...
No pwobIem... We no kilI yo' brudder.
We nice guys. We hit brudder with red-hot bar.
My hand vewy hot.
I shove hand in brudder's face.
It burn him weel bad!
It burn Iike UV ways!
We nice window cleanahs. No hurt a panda.
I Iove China! Kwazy 'bout it!
AlI Chinese stuff, noodles, sweet and sowah sauce...
DeIicious!
Pwawn cwackahs... delicious...
But you touch my friend... I'm scum!
I spit in yo' eye! I Shanghai bad guy!
I don't speak your language. Get out.
I'lI give you a spectacular death.
Take the piss out of me, wouId you?
Know what the Chinaman says?
The Chinaman says, ''Get onto the window siIl''.
The Chinaman says, ''Turn round''.
Jump!
You didn't say, ''The Chinaman says''!
You said, ''The Chinaman says get onto the window silI'',
then, ''The Chinaman says...''
Turn round.
- The 3rd time was... - No the 4th...
Jump!
PIaying tough, huh?
Why not?
They're throwing out the hostages!
Maybe he was showing us how to do it.
No!
It's a trap, don't you see!
It's a cIassic in China.
- The Chinese Trap. - Yes!
You see? We pulIed it off!
We make a great team.
Or, shouId I say, coupIe.
- Easy, Whatsyourname. - l have a name.
It's MicheI Vignaut.
You're Stéphanie, l'm Michel. Michel and Stéphanie.
One and one make two.
What'lI we do with alI this money?
Get the hostages to the chopper.
- Why not kiIl them now? - Of course.
With no hostages on board the poIice can just shoot us down.
Do you know something?
No, nothing.
Bring the oId man and the young oId man.
We must get there before they take her away.
They're spending the money right now.
Anyway, the fat one couldn't hit a cow in a boudoir.
A parIour.
Better lay off those funny castanets!
Exocets.
Shit!
If we had another helicopter we could folIow them.
I know what to do!
We attach the cradle to the chopper
and fIy discreetly behind them.
The cradle wouId never be fast enough.
Never mind. It was a good idea.
I know! We Iure them into a trap
using a 500 franc note tied to an invisible thread.
It's like an invisible man but shaped like a thread.
You poor boy!
How you disappoint me.
You won't trap 50 miIlion franc robbers with a 500.
1,500 francs.
These guys are serious.
- Not just a pretty brace. - The beast.
- The best. - The abbess.
- The rest. - The ref.
Not just a... sack the referee!
Sack the ref!
Hey, piIot buddy!
Hey, paI!
Come and Iook at this.
It's reaIly interesting.
Don't be difficult.
Run over here, looking up!
If you Iook down it doesn't count.
No it doesn't.
Quick! You'Il miss the...
Come on.
A souvenir from the job.
Hold them back for a minute.
Come on, take off!
If your bags are bothering you
I've room up front. I don't drive with my feet!
You'Il be much more comfortabIe.
InitiaIizing red buttons!
- Three red buttons. - Yes!
- Speed? - Zero.
- MiIeage? - UnIimited.
- Panickometer? - ln the red sector.
That's three zeros, 3 nil.
France-BraziI, final score.
- Are aIl your documents in order? - Why, are you a cop?
Get a move on!
Wait whiIe we check a couple of things.
Are you pIaying with yourseIves?
What, us?
What's going on?
Oh my God!
Shit!
Wait for me!
It's OK!
We're fine, don't worry.
I'lI stabilise it!
Oops!
Sorry.
Give me a hand!
Isn't it the blades that should be turning?
It's OK, I'm in control.
It's the turning force. Centrifugal.
It's normaI.
It's making me feel a bit sick...
Do choppers make you sick too?
Use my technique,
concentrate on something eIse.
It's aIl right!
We're safe!
End of the Iine!
AlI change pIease!
Never mind about the restaurant.
We've at Ieast a milIion here.
I can take you to America,
or if you don't like America, New York.
Stop.
You reaIly don't get it, do you? Shut up!
This is mine.
Whatever you do, keep running.
I booby-trapped your shoes.
Go beIow 20mph and you bIow up.
Get away! There's a bomb!
We have to find somewhere open
so we won't get sIowed down.
I'm sorry, miss.
I don't know where you come from
but here in France we don't have 1,500 franc notes.
1,500 francs! Are you crazy, Iady?
Subtitles: CIare McAlIister
Subtitling : EcIair Vidéo